


Episode Four:  The Speed and the Flame

by keirajo



Series: Transformers: Star Voyager [5]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Love Confessions, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 06:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keirajo/pseuds/keirajo
Summary: Hot Rod and Blurr are best friends, they share everything with each other.  So it's no surprise that Blurr knows how much in love Hot Rod is with his guardian, Magnus.  Unfortunately.............Magnus doesn't quite get it yet.Cue: something near tragic happening.  Of course.





	Episode Four:  The Speed and the Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fun fact: The reason these are "episodes" and not parts or chapters is that this series is meant to be like an anime series. If you'll notice, there are only two scene breaks--like an anime's traditional two-commerical-breaks-per-episode for television shows. :)

**_ Episode Four:  The Speed and the Flame _ **

 

 

            _‘Come on, Blurr……..ya **gotta** keep him distracted!’_   Hot Rod thought, clenching his jaw and grinding his denta.  Hot Rod’s left hand twitched on the grip of his energy bow.   He had to keep back and keep enough distance away from the target so that he wouldn’t be noticed.

            Hot Rod was darting from tree-to-tree, keeping the cover that the trees provided while he watched his best friend draw the target on a swift chase.  Just as he was about to comm-link his best friend to nag at him distracting the target better—there it was, his chance!   The flame-colored mech aimed swiftly and swept his right hand back along the energy-string……..then he set loose a hail of bolts at the target.

            Magnus kicked the young blue mech back as he drew up his left arm—a shield phased in quickly from a sub-space pocket, resembling the doorframe of the soldier’s alt mode.  Hot Rod’s energy bolts bounced off the shield and Magnus just laughed.

            “Is that _all_ you two have……..” Magnus began, a grin beneath his warrior’s facial shield.

            **_WHAM!!!_**

            Blurr had rolled as he was kicked, pivoting his body so that he was supported inches from the ground by his hands—then he kicked up and slammed Magnus in the aft, making the soldier stumble.   After that, in a move designed more for stylistic dancing than fighting………as Blurr’s legs came down from the kick, he bent his arms and rotated to swing and try and sweep Magnus’ legs out while he stumbled.

            “Really you two?  This is _better_ than your past attempts, but……..” Magnus began with a chuckle as he leapt up into the air to avoid the leg sweep.  However, within just a few seconds as he began his taunt, red arms draped themselves over his shoulders and a weight settled on his back……..with a light, familiar voice whispering something in his audial.

            With a bit of shock, Magnus stumbled forwards as he landed—with Blurr’s pedes striking the backs of his knee joints.  As the former soldier hit the ground, Hot Rod flipped off his guardian’s back and landed neatly on the grass, striking a haughty pose with his energy bow slung across his back.

            “You were saying, Mags?”  Hot Rod laughed as Blurr dusted off his hands and walked over to him.  The young blue mech placed his elbow on his best friend’s shoulder and waggled a finger at Magnus with a huge grin on his face.

            Magnus rolled to his back and reached his hands behind his shoulders, levering himself up to use a flip to get to his pedes.   The old soldier laughed warmly and released his facial shield to grin at the two young best friends.   The two had gotten their lifetime frames several months ago, so had asked Magnus for some extra training to see how agile they were in their permanent body frames and armour.

            “By the way, Roddy………what’d you whisper to Magnus?”  Blurr asked, standing up straight and gazing at his best friend curiously.

            “It’s.  A.  Secret,” Hot Rod chuckled, waving a hand as he grinned a huge grin.

            Magnus facepalmed himself.  Hopefully it would remain a secret, but he knew the two shared practically everything with each other……..so, who knew how long that whispered statement would remain a secret?

            “You two are really good, but the both of you _need to do better_ at pulling in your fields,” Magnus chided, snapping his left arm out to phase out the doorframe-style shield.  Then he crossed his arms and glared at the two young friends.  “Blurr…….maybe you’re fast enough to avoid getting hit even if someone senses your field.  _But Hot Rod!_   I could easily sense you in the trees, you need to pull in your EM field better!”  Magnus groaned.

            “ _Maaaaaags_!”  Hot Rod moaned.  At least Blurr had gotten a little bit of praise, he only got chided.  “Who cares?  My field is _fine_ …….” He pouted.

            Blurr just sighed and shrugged.  “He does have a point, bro………….your field can be kinda out there, you know?  Roddy, it _would_ help if you’d hold it in a bit closer to your frame,” the young blue mech said seriously to his best friend.

            “Hey, Mags………….how _do_ you completely lock down your field?”  Hot Rod asked, curiously.   He gave a sigh and settled in to being serious about the lesson. 

            “It took well around a decade of fierce training from Sentinel Prime—as well as a lot of meditation,” Magnus answered.   “As strange as it sounds, you’re actually pulling your field in so close to your frame that you’re really pulling it inside your frame through your seams.  It is trapped inside of you by your frame and keeping it close means you generally learn to keep it neutral, so it doesn’t interfere with your internal systems.”   Both Hot Rod and Blurr tilted their heads in puzzlement.  “How about if you think about it like _this_ ………….a net or a blanket?  When you pull in a net or pull a blanket up, you are folding it in.   When you project your field it makes a wide umbrella of emotion and sensation, as you pull it in closer to your body your field becomes smaller.  Now let’s say you’re pulling in your field to fit in your arms—it is now shrunk down enough to fit inside your chestplating, so think of it as carrying an extra blanket with you in a chest subspace at all times.  Once it’s stored, it’s no longer projecting……..it’s _‘locked down’_ as we call it.”

            “Is…………is it difficult to learn to do that?”  Hot Rod asked.  “I dunno, it feels like I can _never_ get my field to stay close to my frame at all…………..”

            “I can draw it in close, but once I get moving and get distracted………mine still ripples out,” Blurr said with a sigh.

            Magnus knew he’d _never_ be able to teach Hot Rod how to master locking down his field—his emotions really were his strength!   But if only he could pull it in closer instead of just throwing it all out there…….!   It really would be better………..for Hot Rod and for everyone around him.  Blurr could probably make progress towards it, but if distraction kept him from keeping an eye on his field then…………..Blurr might not be able to lock his down completely either.

            “Well, with more practice we can work on it,” Magnus said, firmly.

            “Let’s do some more sparring while waiting to figure out our field issue,” Blurr chuckled.

            The lithe blue mech was fast……….it was a speed unknown by normal mechs or femmes, so it meant the kid had a special Spark ability.  But maybe even better than Blurr’s speed was his personality—he was always cheerful, always kind and very smart.  A perfect foil for the ever-emotional, slightly-selfish and barely-passing his classes Hot Rod.

            As much as Magnus liked Blurr—he’d _never_ trade Hot Rod for any other mech or femme in the universe.  Hot Rod kept him on his pedes and he had to admit the fiery personality was rather appealing to him.

 

*       *       *      *      *

 

            The next day, at school…………..

            Hot Rod just _couldn’t_ pay attention all day.  He was just a messy bundle of anxiety and energy.  Plus he was _upset_ ………….at himself, for having the argument with Magnus that morning.   They’d had the dumbest of arguments, about fields……….right before Magnus had to leave for work.   And then………… _that happened_ ………..and the older mech looked so crushed and hurt.

            Hot Rod didn’t mean it…………..not the way it happened………….. _he just_ …………!   He wasn’t good at backing down and he really loved Magnus—he wanted to prove that he loved him and his field………….!

            Override frowned and walked over to her student’s desk.  She saw Hot Rod’s attention was nowhere near the lesson, the classroom or her—so she sighed as she reached down and lightly tapped her student on the helm.

            “Ah!   _Sorry!_    I’m sorry!  Don’t put me in detention!”  Hot Rod cried, apologetically, nearly jumping out of his seat in shock.

            “Hot Rod, go stand out in the hallway until class is over in twenty minutes,” Override said, firmly.

            “Y—yes, ma’am,” the young flame-colored mech stammered, slowly walking out into the hallway.

            He was rather surprised when Blurr joined him a few moments later.  There was no way Blurr was in trouble, he was a perfect student!   Hot Rod’s best friend silenced him with a wave and just stood next to him quietly.  The blue mech gently reached his field out……..

            // ** _comfort_** \\\

            In response, Hot Rod reached out with his hand, clasping the pale blue hand of his friend in his own soft grey one, twining their fingers.   He returned the emotion in Blurr’s field with one of his own……….

            // ** _relief_** \\\

            He and Blurr had known each other since they were in day-care.   As two sparklings who loved watching racing on the televiewer, they bonded really fast—and their friendship was cemented by the end of the first day they met.   They even got their lifetime frames on the same day.   They were the best of friends, truly inseparable.

            “So………..you tried to kiss him, hunh?”  Blurr asked, quietly.

            “Yeah,” Hot Rod murmured.   “He _really_ freaked out……….I think I triggered an episode of his PTSD—he was a mess before he left for work,” the flame-colored young mech whispered.

            “ _Awwww_ ….Roddy, I’m so sorry,” Blurr sighed, squeezing his best friend’s hand warmly.

            “He………..he can’t see me as anything more than his ward— _a child_ ,” Hot Rod whispered, painfully, grinding the heel of his free servo against the arch of his nasal ridge.

            “He _will_ …………eventually—don’t worry.   But I think it’s time you show him you really can control your field better than you do, rather than projecting it like crazy to get his attention,” the young blue-colored mech chuckled back, warmly.  “Maybe you could _try_ to be an adult around him?”  He teased.

            Hot Rod groaned softly.  Then the flame-colored mech turned a grin over to his best friend.  “We still going to the racetrack after school?”  He asked, hopefully.

            “If Override really doesn’t put you in detention,” Blurr chuckled.  “Just be honest with her, okay—she really doesn’t like it when you play around,” he added, seriously.

            “Yeah, okay…….” Hot Rod murmured.

            After class was dismissed, Hot Rod went back into the room and took the seat at his desk, while Blurr waited for him by the door.

            “Hot Rod…….is everything all right at home?  If it’s too stressful to live at him and come to school, you could request a transfer to the dorms,” Override said, gently.  “You know that Blurr lives in the dorms, so he can tell you what it’s like.”

            “It’s fine, Override.  I’m sorry for spacing out in class today…………Mags and I had a dumb argument this morning,” Hot Rod mumbled, quietly.

            “All right.   However, I need to point out that your grades have gone down the past few months—you’ve got mid-terms in two weeks.  If your grades continue to fall, I _will_ need to call your guardian in for a conference,” the white-and-red-colored femme responded, folding her arms across her chest.  “I know you really don’t want me to say this again, but you’re _not_ skilled enough for track racing.   As your teacher, I _can’t_ tell you how to spend your time outside of class—however, as your teacher I want to _recommend_ abandoning this desire to focus on other things, such as your schoolwork.  Do you understand?”  She asked, firmness in her warm voice.

            “Yes, ma’am,” Hot Rod whispered, defeated.

            “Very well, you’re dismissed,” Override sighed.  She knew the instant the two young mech walked out of the room that they were going to the race track.

            Blurr only rented out the track for an hour today, rather than their standard two hours.  He didn’t want Hot Rod to linger away from home too long and avoid whatever happened with Magnus earlier that morning.   He knew how much Hot Rod was in love with Magnus—his best friend was just awkward and bad at expressing it properly.

            As a ‘bot who wanted to race professionally, Blurr also fully understood why their teacher said that Hot Rod didn’t have the skills for this kind of racing.  A lot of it had to do with his alt mode’s design—which was a race car, yes, but not completely race-ready for a track like this.  But most of it had to do with his focus.  Hot Rod loved racing and he was fast, but he got distracted easily and lost his focus on the goal.   However, the one part of racing that Hot Rod _was_ very good at………..was helping his best friend train.

            Hot Rod really was _the best_ training partner.  He knew how to goad and challenge on the track—how to _ignite the fire_.

            And for the young flame-colored mech himself, racing helped Hot Rod burn off some of his daily nervous energy—that way he could settle down and wind down.   Blurr watched Hot Rod relax more as he raced……so, despite Override’s admonishments and knowing the downturn of his friend’s grades—Blurr still encouraged Hot Rod to race with him, so that his friend could finally find his calm and center.

            After the hour was up, they hit the track’s washracks to clean up before going home.

            “Hey, Roddy………why don’t we focus on some studying this weekend?”  Blurr said, kindness in his warm voice.  “I talked to Springer before school this morning and thought that the four of us could study for mid-terms together.”

            “I wish I were smart………like you, Blurr,” the flame-colored mech sighed softly.   He scrubbed the cloth over his arms and then looked up at his best friend.  “Hey……..would you get my spoiler for me?”  He asked.

            “Sure,” the blue-colored mech chuckled.  Blurr was very careful with the decorative piece of kibble on his best friend’s back.  Careful not to dent it, yes………..but it had some sensory sensitivity as well.  Hot Rod said he used it to gauge wind and slipstream currents—so, it was very sensitive to nearly any kind of touch.  “Honestly, we need to try and bring your grades up so Override won’t call in Magnus for a conference.   So, we’ll start some hardcore studying.  However, Arcee’s brilliant—so I really think we’d benefit from a group study session.”

            “As long as the lovebirds can keep their servos off each other!”  Hot Rod laughed.

            Arcee and Springer were upperclassmen, in their final decade of school.  Blurr had become friends with them because they lived in the dorms, like him.  One day he’d introduced Hot Rod to them a few years back.  Sometimes they all hung out together and did fun things as a group.  Springer and Arcee were a bonded pair, they’d been Spark-bonded for a while now, knowing they were one another’s perfect sparkmates.

            “We should do a sleepover study session!   I’ll talk with them and find out when would be a good time,” Blurr laughed.

            “Primus………as long as I _don’t_ have to watch them frag each other!”  Hot Rod groaned, but it was a groan tinged with good humour.

 

*      *      *      *      *

 

            Magnus was hiding in his berthroom, he simply didn’t want to face Hot Rod right now.   He just didn’t know what to say…………he felt like he messed up _so badly_ this morning.  He almost killed the young mech, purely by accident!   His brain had run through the scenario all day long—he had tried setting off for work and was too upset to go.  So he’d turned around, hid in the gymnasium until Hot Rod had left for school and called work to say he couldn’t come in.  Siren would understand it was an episode of his PTSD.

            Magnus just couldn’t figure out why Hot Rod had _kissed_ him………?  Why did he……..?

            And the memories came flooding back, just like this morning, when Hot Rod had leaned in…….

 

_The staging area was absolute chaos.  Ultra Magnus and Skyhammer were trying desperately to evacuate all the younglings the moment the bombs started going off.   There was a single moment when Ultra Magnus saw Skyhammer barreling right at him……..the momentum of the shove knocking them out of the way of another explosion and to the ground._

_“Oh……….well, **slag** ,” Skyhammer laughed softly as he levered himself up on his arms above the red-white-and-blue mech.  “I am **so sorry** , Ultra Magnus……….” he murmured as he looked down to see a massive hole in his gut, as well as purple-pink glowing lifeblood drenching the chest and waist of the mech beneath him.  “This is such a damn shame, because I’d **rather** have you beneath me in a berth,” the mech laughed softly.  “Take care of yourself, Ultra Magnus………..and **save the kids**.”  Right before his life flooded out of him any further, Skyhammer leaned down and gave Ultra Magnus a light kiss on the lips._

 

            Hot Rod leaning in to kiss him this morning had triggered that memory…………and it triggered an episode of trauma _incredibly fast_.   Before Magnus even realized it, he’d shoved his young ward across the room and huddled in a position like he was going to purge on the floor.

            He and Hot Rod had been having the silliest of arguments about fields, from the lesson the day before.  Then the flame-colored mech said something to the effect of being able to easily sneak up on Magnus—which resulted in the shocking kiss.

            Just thinking back on everything that happened made Magnus want to rip his own Spark out.   Hot Rod was just being his normal, carefree self—he hadn’t meant to cause a problem.   The blue-and-white mech couldn’t bear the thought that he might have really hurt his little star.  If not physically, then quite possibly emotionally.

            “Hey…….Magnus………you in there?”  Hot Rod’s voice filtered through the door, after he’d knocked to announce himself.

            It was better to answer him, than to not answer him.

            “Yes, I’m here,” Magnus responded, walking to the door.  He pressed his forehead and hands to the door, wishing he had the courage to open it right now.

            “Are………are you mad at me……..?”  Hot Rod murmured, softly.  His voice so soft that it barely filtered through the door and Magnus may not have heard if he were not up against the door.

            “ _Primus, no!_   It was my fault, not yours,” Magnus said, quickly.  “Did I _hurt_ you?”  He asked.

            “Pfft………a few dents, but you’ve given me more in training!”  Hot Rod laughed warmly.

            Magnus smiled, Hot Rod was always a better mech when he was laughing.  The older blue-and-white mech realized that he wanted to feel his field against his little star’s field, to know that all would be well.   But……..after his episode this morning he locked down and blocked off his field.  He could only feel Hot Rod’s field in general—and it was worried and upset.

            Magnus realized that he, himself, was scared.   He was suddenly scared of being abandoned…………and alone.  He never realized that until _right now_.  Magnus realized what triggered the worst episodes of his PTSD—the idea that he could be alone for the rest of his life.  The death of all those around him during the bombing forced this fear of loneliness into the depths of his Spark.   All of this combined to cause and trigger his PTSD………..marking him with a deeply rooted trauma.

            “Magnus?  Have you fueled today?”  Hot Rod suddenly asked, concern echoing in his light voice.

            “No,” he answered, automatically.

            “If you think you can…………I’ll make something to help you get your Energon down,” the younger mech added.  “We don’t have to talk.  I just want to make sure you don’t get sick, okay?”

            “All right.  I’ll be out shortly,” Magnus answered, firmly.  He began to count as he incycled and exvented in a rhythm that his psychiatrist said would help him to calm down.

            When he finally felt emotionally stable enough to leave the room, he made his way to the meal preparation room.  Hot Rod smiled at him, not saying a word, and placed a plate and glass in front of him before preparing a meal for himself.

            // ** _apology_** \\\        Hot Rod’s field rippled tentatively around them both.

            Magnus just nodded, unable to open his field back up to his precious little star.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this episode and the next are gonna be kinda downers. But Drift's intro is coming up after these two sad bits of story.............so let's look forward to that. And the real adventure beginning. :)


End file.
